Quick Q though: How does one go about bringing up gentle femdom to their partner?ĭefinitely make sure you talk about it before you just bust into bossing them around-even if it’s not sexual in nature, changing that dynamic can be super jarring and fucked-up to your partner if you don’t both consensually go into it!
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Role-play is also big, according to Queen.ġ1 BDSM Games Everyone Should Try at Least Onceįor nonsexual activities, Couple suggests starting with pre-date-night activities, like picking out your partner’s clothes for the night, instructing them on how to strip for you, using sex toys on them, or directing them to use toys on you. What are some examples of common gentle femdom activities?Ĭouple says that of common BDSM activities, teasing and denial, sensation play that utilizes different temperatures (think a glass or steel dildo that can get warm or be cooled down to the touch), and leash walking could be used in a gentle femdom dynamic. Just like how there’s mommy play seen in gentle femdom, there’s daddy play in the gentle form of male domming. These qualities also contribute to deepening devotion-a key aspect of any BDSM dynamic.” Is there a male version of “gentle” domming? “It can be based on roles that are already coded female, even feminine, and that is appealing to some.”Ĭouple says she personally finds that the “love, care, and empathy that are involved in a gentle femdom dynamic really help to create a safe container for the more violent or taboo activities that a couple might want to try. Not to mention, for some women who have never really been encouraged to take power, this can be an extra-exciting dynamic to try out, says Queen.
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Not at all! “Gentle domming is for everyone, no matter what gender expression or sexuality they identify with,” explains Mistress Couple, a professional dominatrix and author of The Ultimate Guide to Bondage. Is it *just* between a female domme and a male sub? How does it differ from regular femdom?įemdom as a larger umbrella term can refer to domination ranging from gentle to very fierce and intense, depending on the domme (the female spelling of dom) and partner’s interests and limits, says Queen. The erotic component of gentle femdom can be pleasure-focused or it can just be about dominance without pain and intensity that is often associated with non-gentle kink play. “It will often focus on roles that have power-like mommy or teacher-but also have nurturance and care built in,” Queen adds. As Carol Queen, PhD, resident sexologist at Good Vibrations, says, gentle femdom is more infused with love and nurturing. It can be sexual, only BDSM-based, or role-based. Think of gentle femdom as female domination without the elements of pain, harsh punishment, or humiliation. Thankfully, we found two experts to help break down and explain a beginner’s guide to gentle femdom. The latter form of dom/subbing is referred to as “gentle femdom,” a kink that, unfortunately, doesn’t always get as much ink as it deserves. Everything You Need to Know About Ruined Orgasms
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